Feb. 9th, 2016 11:19 pm
Ryslig IC INBOX
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no subject
[That question catches him by surprise. He almost laughs.]
That's a difficult question to answer! I don't have any memories of who I was before solving the Puzzle let me out, so...I can't really say!
[He has! No idea! Who he is!]
Mostly, I'm feeling glad you came by to help me with this bingo game! I'm taking matters one event at a time.
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That's concerning.] ...In other words, you're not feeling good at all.
[How does it feel to be seen, other Yugi.] I'd tell you a bit about how you defined yourself from Yugi during the short time I saw you, but something tells me that won't help either...
[Hm. Well.] Mnh...well, I'm glad I came as well- I'd rather be here when that kind of thing is happening, than somewhere in my house while you're surrounded by cameras.
[It's his way of saying he cares. Maybe.]
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Yes, if we're going to discuss this, I'd prefer it to be off everyone's cameras, too.
The person formerly known as Ringu is one of my sources, you're right about that. The other is Ryou Bakura. I must have found out answers about myself after meeting you, but before the point in time Ryou is from.
Unfortunately, I can't help you with a name for our mutual harpy acquaintance. He didn't give me one! I doubt he would if I asked, either...there's bad blood there from when I was alive, that I've forgotten all about.
[Even if the combination of the dark god and the Kul Elna survivor had a sense of who he was, or wanted one.]
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[It's all he says for now; hardly his place to spill the blended existence beans.] Bad blood however?
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My family committed a terrible crime against his family.
And, since mine happened to be the royal family, justice was never done.
[He's not going to go into Kul Elna specifics! Even if it's all in the museum, it's not his story to tell. He doesn't even remember it. Better to get it from the source with less amnesia. Not no amnesia! But less.]
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[Hm.] That might be worth looking into. There may not be much in the way of typical ways to make up for it, but there should at least be ways for you to do it at least partly- I don't say that as a mere debt leveller either.
You say 'justice'- so obviously whatever it was, you feel the same, that it was a terrible crime. I'd imagine you would want to do something about it, hm?
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The people who were hurt are still suffering. I don't know if there's a way to alleviate that from here, but if one can be found, I'll give my support to it. Whatever's required, or called for -- I'll do it.
[He's very serious about that. If he wants to think of himself as a part of the Egyptian royal family, someone with a mother and a father who he must have loved, when he knew their faces...then, the name, whatever it is, must be cleared. Harms done must be addressed. The scales are out of balance, and to leave them that way....that's dangerous.
He can't put his father on trial, not unless the former king appears here. So, something restorative, rather than punitive, seems like the more viable option.]
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Just remember where a line needs to be drawn- the dead can't do anything more than what they've already accomplished, after all. Not when they're completely gone anyway.
But, I can't exactly make any theories on what can be done without him here. That other place... ...it was an interesting experience. I think it combined most of my life experience with that of Seto's own by the end.
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[His family...they're all dead. Not-Ringu's family is worse off, but...the other Yugi never knew them. When he thinks of his father, it's Abram Usir's face he sees, and when he thinks of his mother, it's Nathalia, and his aunt, Isobel.
It's useless to wish for them. But, still...]
I wish I could. Maybe then I'd know why it was done. Why my father would give that kind of order.
[He stays leaning against the coffin's wooden side, his legs folded in front of him, resisting the temptation to draw his knees up to his chest. He's not going to curl up like a child over this. He'll face it head-on, proudly, with his back straight.]
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[....Other Yugi might take it proudly, but- somewhat cautiously, as if judging whether or not he's even allowed- Noa himself will move to come and sit a bit closer. His friend might have been resisting the urge to plop the cat on his lap earlier, but while it's not quite that, it seems there's no longer much need as he simply sits there.]
Whether he was, or wasn't however, perhaps one day you can get some closure on it.
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His shoulders relax, and he's not fighting the impulse to curl up or cross his arms any more.]
I hope my father wasn't a bad person, but...if he was, then I'll have to accept it. It's no good to close your eyes to the truth.
...
I believe that, but...there's a way to learn more that I haven't pursued.
Ryou Bakura.
I don't know how much he knows. After all, a whole lifetime of memory's a lot to keep straight even when it's your own! But he knows more than I do.
He knows my true name.
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Your name?
....Given you were presumably Egyptian, that... ...that would be extremely important, [Noa murmurs, shifting slightly to look up.] ...The ancient Egyptians had a fairly unique view on what created the human soul- or even the human being, you could argue. Body and mind factored in, but there was also the heart, the shadow...
[Noa narrows his eyes.] The 'name' itself was one of these things. Everything about a person, their experiences in the world, their memories, what was known of them- that was what a name carried.
[He frowns, turning his head down.] ...I wonder if he's worried about dropping that on your head then...theoretically if it actually works that way for you, you'd have an even worse experience getting it back. You have a false life and this 'life' to contend with as is.
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You think, then, that there's a possibility of getting my memories from when I was alive back, if I learn my name...? Or that...who I am might change?
[Holy shit, dude. It may not work that way, because the Millennium Puzzle doesn't work, all magic has to come from in-universe sources, but...if the ancient Egyptians understood where to get power from well enough for their magician-priests to create the Millennium Items, if gods existed in tablets, then who's to say they didn't understand the parts of the soul?
If missing his name and his memories means he's missing a part of his own being...then, no wonder he's felt so wrong. Yugi had a name, and Yugi had memories, and when the other Yugi shared them, he felt right. But, here...on his own...
...that'd explain it. He knew, instinctively, that hearing his real name would be a big deal, and had shied away from it. He's not just a ghost. He's a fragment of a ghost.
Funny, how the harpy they both know ended up with extra soul, more than he wants now, and the spirit of the pharaoh doesn't have enough.]
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In theory, that was an entire lifetime of memory. Yet despite it all, in both of our cases, we're still 'us'.
...But I do suspect that if he held it back deliberately, that could be why.
[He doesn't realize, of course, that it could be the other Yugi refusing to take the name instead. The thought doesn't even come to mind.
As it stands, he suspects the Ring Spirit's troubles are still a bit more complicated.]
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[He thinks a moment, about memories, and self, and how much one affects the other.]
The memories I have of being Adam...they feel like Yugi's, to me. Memories of a "me"...that aren't mine. So, there must be something that makes me myself besides just the memories I have. I guess the part of the person I used to be that's the mind made it through the years intact!
["intact"....]
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[A small smile, and he shuffles a bit to get more comfortable.] Hmmm. Quite likely, I suppose. Intact might not be quite accurate, but it's safe to say that even without surface memory there would still be...mmm. A sort of emotional, or muscle memory to go with things...
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[Comfy shuffling is cute!]
--fundamentals of my personality--
[Friend cat cute!]
--and what matters to me--
[He's distracted!! Shit!]
--Noa, would you mind turning back into your usual form? I don't know if it's something that survived from life or not, but I've discovered that I like to be around cats, and the impulse to scratch behind your ears is getting difficult to ignore!
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[Noa pauses, and stares.
And then, the little bastard, simply rolls onto his back, belly up.] If that's the case, I won't mind then- you wouldn't believe how many employees drop into the office to do the same actually, I can't tell if I've failed as a Director, being a source of stress relief, [He hums, very clearly laying with deliberation.
Jerk.]
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Oh no.
Is it a trap?? Is the soft cat belly a trap? He wants to touch it. He wants to touch it so badly.]
You won't think it's disrespectful? Or that I'm treating you like you're an animal?
[It's right there. The cat director looks very very pettable. He's dying! The other Yugi is dying his second death.]
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Just think of it this way- I get to have a massage~
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He's kind of blushing.
It's the voice.
The voice makes this weird.
But not so weird that he's not going to do it.]
Okay....if you really don't mind, then....
[He reaches out...]
You're a treasured friend to me, and I respect you very much.
[...and scritches under Noa's chin.]
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It is absolutely not going to help matters, but frankly, he doesn't often get this chance, even at work. Or at least not enough for the cat brain to be appeased.]
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So, he settles in, for chin scritches and cheek scrubs and ear thumbing and maybe chest and belly pets and it's very nice actually because the other Yugi is good at reading tension in body language so he'll realize and respond quick when a type of petting isn't welcome and lean into the ones that are.
How long are they going to be like this? Who knows.]