noasark: (Well that didn't work)
[personal profile] noasark
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Date: 2021-05-12 07:28 am (UTC)

softspokenlandlord: (59)
From: [personal profile] softspokenlandlord
[It was already going to take a while for Ryou to answer while he got his head screwed on straight after all he admitted. He still felt very uncomfortable with it, although he shouldn't.

Noa's a good listener. He appreciates this.

He just...wishes that he could have someone tell him he's right, this isn't fair, the Ring-Spirit's wrong. But he can't have that. It...makes him feel like a bad person. All of this does.

Suffice it to say he leaves Noa on read for some time.]


I'm sorry he had that happening. I understand the feeling, and I never thought I'd say that, but the thing is - that was what I was struggling with as well. Memories, self-identity, importance.

I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how he functions either, but with everything said and done...I also don't believe I'm capable of feeling sorry for him right now.
Date: 2021-05-12 07:41 am (UTC)

softspokenlandlord: (50)
From: [personal profile] softspokenlandlord
[Excuse him???

Did. Noa just agree with him?]


Thank you. That's one of the most thoughtful things anyone's said to me.

I didn't expect it.


[STILL PROCESSING...his feelings are valid?!]
Date: 2021-05-12 07:59 am (UTC)

softspokenlandlord: (54)
From: [personal profile] softspokenlandlord
I don't like being angry at anything. It's not the way I am, it's honestly so tiring to be upset, but there's so much to be upset about around here.

I've tried to coexist peacefully though. I promise...we've spoken sharply, but I had never attacked or threatened him before


[Wait. No. No no no.]

I mean, I didn't do it on purpose I would never try to hurt someone on purpose he just made me so angry and I couldn't take it anymore he doesn't take anything I say as mattering or serious I really didn't want to but it just happened
Date: 2021-05-12 08:14 am (UTC)

softspokenlandlord: (33)
From: [personal profile] softspokenlandlord
I already know what I did was wrong. I didn't want to discuss it, why the hell I mentioned it is beyond me.

[The short answer is: nerves. Being validated is cool but also Ryou's been nervous this whole conversation, which had now come to a head, given his mild cursing. He should have just bid Noa a good night after thanking him for his understanding. But no. Gotta dig that hole.]

I don't want you to think I really am a mindless creature.
Date: 2021-05-13 12:46 am (UTC)

softspokenlandlord: <user name=raptorscribbles site=tumblr.com> (ryoushade10)
From: [personal profile] softspokenlandlord
[Noa you need to quit activating the logic card. Ryou hates it, because the young Kaiba is right, and it hurts hearing it said back to him.

What choice does he even have...?]


Fine. You want to know what I did, right?

We met at the museum and he asked me why I even bothered to meet him at all. When I told him I was trying to pay back a kindness, he didn't believe me, I suppose, or it wasn't a good enough reason. He wouldn't listen and he kept calling me landlord.

I tried to tell him not to do that. I'm not his 'landlord' and I don't want to argue. But he seems to like arguing. It wasn't a good time for arguing for me, but he doesn't get it. Whether he meant to or not he pushed it too far, and I just


[There's a large, uncomfortable pause.]

He kept going in circles, trying to tell me why I was doing things, why I felt the way I do...and I couldn't take it. I attacked him. I wrapped him up in my shadows and told him terrible things that I wish I could take back because it isn't the way I am.

Noa I threatened to take his soul from his body and he just laughed about it and egged me on.

I couldn't take it. I let him go and I left and of course he almost called my name he probably thinks I didn't hear him. But I left.
Date: 2021-05-14 05:04 am (UTC)

softspokenlandlord: (30)
From: [personal profile] softspokenlandlord
[Of course the Ring-Spirit didn't explain much of that, why would he?

Aside from that, Ryou finds that Noa's levelheadedness contrasts with his anxiety pretty starkly. It's...not a bad thing. One of them has to be less emotional.]


He calls me "landlord" because he used to reside in the Millennium Ring, and I was the bearer. He possessed me, and the whole landlord thing began because he swore that stealing the souls of my friends and putting them in Monster World figures was him "paying rent" for use of my body.

Even if I didn't want to be possessed, that never really mattered. I'm not sure whether to be surprised this never came up or not.


[Maybe it was the Ring-Spirit trying to save face? He can't be sure. Said spirit was very capricious.]

I know that I didn't do the worst thing in that situation, but the fact that it escalated makes me wonder if him living in my head had an effect on who I am as a person. So...it's hard not to focus on it.
Date: 2021-05-15 07:32 am (UTC)

softspokenlandlord: (59)
From: [personal profile] softspokenlandlord
I understand that you're trying to make it make sense. I appreciate that you're going through the effort to talk about this and listen to me Noa. I need you to know how much I appreciate that.

But I told him something that day that I am going to repeat here, and that is that what he thinks, and what actually is, are not the same. I spent years with him in my life. I can show you the scars I've obtained. The friends I've lost. The bonds that have wavered.

I don't...think I care if he's confused anymore. I tried, okay? I really tried. What if I don't want to try anymore? Maybe...not ever?


[Is he bad? Was he just trying to protect himself here? What's right? Noa is trying to rationalize the Ring-Spirit's decisions and Ryou only finds himself frustrated with the thought, because he doesn't want it rationalized. He wants it to stop being a problem.]
Date: 2021-05-19 07:26 am (UTC)

softspokenlandlord: (34)
From: [personal profile] softspokenlandlord
I don't think it's possible to close the book though. Not really. Not while we still live on the same peninsula. I ended up going to a house party where he lives, and that wasn't even on purpose. I just didn't know he lived there.

[Ryou almost writes more but then...wait.]

I'm sorry, the angle you used for yourself? Do you have some kind of experience with things like this?

[Not to flip the situation or anything but you can't just almost say that and pretend you didn't. The network's a little too janky to allow for such mistakes to go unnoticed.]
Date: 2021-05-22 07:59 am (UTC)

softspokenlandlord: (22)
From: [personal profile] softspokenlandlord
[Ok ok ok. This is a lot.

But.

Ryou wasn't present for like. Most of any Kaiba backstory, never mind Noa's. So he's still a little hazy on all this.]


I'm afraid I don't know half as much about Seto as I'd like. But he seems like he had a stressful childhood.

[Ryou doesn't need a high perception roll for that. Kaiba literally oozes overcompensation.]

I'm guessing that your father was not the best? We don't have to discuss it if you don't want to though, I was just wondering about the whole...relevance.

[Noa is free to discuss but he is also free not to discuss. So in a show of general good faith, Ryou goes back to the subject that is definitely not what he wants to talk about.]

Also you're right. I'd like to do normal things without being upset he's there. Kind of wish that he wasn't upsetting though. It'd make things easier but that's wishful thinking, and we can go in circles with that all night.
Date: 2021-05-26 07:52 am (UTC)

softspokenlandlord: <user name=raptorscribbles site=tumblr.com> (ryoushade10)
From: [personal profile] softspokenlandlord
[Ryou takes a little time to process that all. He's never been the one to know much about the Kaiba family, and it's weird to think that there's a person who looks almost identical to you in the world, except that their hair is a different color, perhaps.

You know.

Unless you're Ryou, who has an identical twin with wild eyes and gravity-defying hair living on a cursed peninsula with him. The only thing that makes them different is their species at this point, and Ryou would have almost preferred being a harpy to being a shade.

...But thinking about that is probably rude. Noa's sharing information with him. He should respond to it, right?

What does he even say...?]


That's pretty bad.

[Fuck.]

I mean, about your father. I wish I had something better than that to say, but...it's not my place, really.

[Mostly he's unsure what to say to that, and also he's avoiding the topic of the Ring-Spirit. Not because Noa's wrong just because...that's something he isn't sure how to respond to either. Because Noa's making sense.]
Date: 2021-05-28 07:08 am (UTC)

softspokenlandlord: (dsod7)
From: [personal profile] softspokenlandlord
It's helping, but

I don't know how to explain this. I don't feel sorry for him anymore. He's wrong, and I don't want to give him the time of day anymore.

But I know that eventually I won't be able to stop myself backtracking into that behavior, because I don't want to be angry and resentful, like you said, and I think my response to that is simply to try accepting things over and over.


[There's a pause here, because he's ruminating over what he is going to divulge to Noa here.]

You aren't going to talk about this to anyone else, right?

[He has to ask. It's more for his assurance than anything else. He's put so much of his trust into everyone, including the Ring-Spirit...and that continues to not work out, over and over, because everything feels as if it's geared towards hurting him, and maybe...maybe that's just the whole malevolence of the Ring itself, given sentient form. He's not sure...

But if Noa's listening, he may as well confirm.]
Date: 2021-05-30 05:31 am (UTC)

softspokenlandlord: (89)
From: [personal profile] softspokenlandlord
I'm sorry, I know it's a rude question to ask. But thank you for telling me that anyway.

It's difficult to talk about some things regarding my relationship with the Ring. Indifference is very difficult when someone's been in your head for years, and when they committed a murder in your body while you were...

I think I was...twelve.

I struggle with that memory. It was never something I wanted to remember, so I told a different story for a long time, but I think it was more than that. I think I simply pushed it away until it wasn't real anymore. I think that anyone would want to forget killing someone, right?

That's not the point though, the point I wanted to make is that the spirit has a habit of rationalizing his behaviors, and becoming frustrated when you don't understand them. Or...he's told me things with, shall we say, explicit motivations.


[So basically what he was beating around the bush to say was that the Ring-Spirit was an adept manipulator, of him especially, and that he was afraid to continue extending an olive branch to someone like that. But at the same time...Ryou wouldn't feel right staying away entirely. Because he'd spent so many years with that presence in his head, to the point that he, like Yugi, felt attached.

It's hard. This is hard. He's mad and will stay mad and probably if they talk again, Ryou will still always be a sarcastic jerk to the Ring-Spirit. But not talking has had an effect. Noa wants him to have closure? But he can't.]

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