noasark | Ryslig IC INBOX

[Noa, on the flip side, has been utterly Miserable.

Oh he's done well to show it, he always has. But frankly, his house is empty, his former best friend's house is empty, the animals are ultimately animals, and now he's on day three of time spent off beyond the typical.

Eventually a reply is sent back.]

What about?

Our last conversation ended kind of abruptly...
I want to talk about it.

Ah.

So it did- the floor is yours.

For someone who's one of the oldest and highest level Fog followers on the peninsula, you've been strangely adamant about other people not pledging. Why?

Edited 2022-02-14 14:02 (UTC)

[Hm.]

Don't misunderstand. If someone is dedicated without a doubt to pushing for her cause, I'll support them. But these people are already willing- no, eager- to do what she asks in the first place.

You told me you understand what she wants at a minimum. To eat the people here, an act for her regardless of what we choose.

Tell me, what do you think it does to someone? Someone who would try to share her love without any of that, all while she continues to remind them what she actually wants?

[................................

There is a delay with every sentence or so. The longest comes before the last.]

I told myself they would make it. That they could prove themselves without losing themselves.

[Silence.

...

It is clear he was wrong.]

[Ah. Noa's...seen this sort of thing go badly, before.]

And you? Were you eager to eat people in her name? What does her cause mean to you, Noa?

Don't put words in my mouth.

[It takes some time for the next answer.]

A God is not Human. Trying to bend her into any reason is futile- but for all that we're tools of her punishment the fact remains that she truly believes she loves us. That is not something she gained recently. She's been twisted by trauma, and that's something that may never be undone.

But at the very least she's managing. I've seen people ask themselves if this is sustainable; believe it or not it Is. A monster doesn't need to feed that often to survive. The population on its own succumbs to disease and age far more often than they do to any monster here. If my need to eat is going to be hers, then very well. I'll take that price in living again.

But more than that I'm not wasting the fact that I'm living again, and especially not while a mockery of my past mistakes exists in the form of that false god.

[He is getting off track.]

Acceptance. Acceptance is her cause. It has always been acceptance, even if it's to 'accept the inevitable'. I can accept what happens without enjoying it.

But too many in the fold push the narrative of what 'acceptance' means.

After speaking with her...I can't agree.

To me, it sounds like her cause is vengeance. To make humans suffer as she suffered. To take away all that might have mattered to them: their loved ones, their safety, their rules.

I've wondered what she might do, if enough monsters arrived to decimate the human population...would we starve? It's true a plague would serve her ends better than us. But then again, this place seems designed to perpetuate suffering....

But that doesn't matter! No one can seem to agree on what the Fog wants! I was told that her words were meaningless, because she was too different from us to be able to express how she feels! It seems like a lot of people here look at the Fog God and see what they want to see...so that it's easier for them to follow her, even though she turned monsters from protectors into predators.

[but he still has the key--]

[Noa reads this. Reads it again. And again.]

OUR. Acceptance. Did you read a thing that I said Atem?

The 'cause' of her fold is compliance. In any manner. Nothing we do changes the ultimate execution of her revenge; she doesn't care what we do, because at the end of the day we're still her favorite hunting dogs who have no choice in what their meal is.

It gets done regardless.

As for the human population. Perhaps we would. Perhaps she'd simply take us out of commission to ensure the population rebuilds enough that she can continue an endless cycle of vengeance as desired.

But do you have any idea how many monsters that would actually take to get to that point? I may not enjoy it but I can acknowledge that this isn't a fragile system as it is. Compared to the number of people that die annually in even a single city of Bavan's size...

We are Nothing.

And your words are very, very bold, for someone who has yet to discard their KEY.

[Shot in the dark. But he's pretty sure he isn't missing this one.]

"Compliance"...that sounds more like it. It's notable that the population hasn't been significantly diminished by other factors, too...how many people died as a result of the doubles, last month? In the disasters that regularly shake the city? You're right, the humans are numerous, and there's no chance of a hundred monsters exterminating the population. She doesn't want them gone. She wants them to suffer. To know we're here, and be afraid of us. And, whether a monster agrees or not...every time they feed, they add to that fear. That's not nothing. But you're right, I still have my key...because that fear's something I want, too. I wasn't able to achieve it, by staying neutral...recent events made that clear enough. But moving up in the Fog church might do it.

Acceptance, compliance. One implies more patience on her part, and believe me when I say she has an abundance of that when it comes to it getting through our skulls.

...

We're nothing as a Statistic, Atem.

[If he's talking about numbers he's talking about numbers.

It's some time before the reply to the last of Atem's words arrives.]

Fear, is it.

That's what you want? To instill fear?

...

I wish I could say I understood that.

I want to deter attacks on myself and my friends before they start, because I'm known to be dangerous. Traps like Amanda's didn't work. Either no one heard about them, or they didn't make the same impression the way I used them. I was hesitant to use them on monsters unless they committed a heinous sin, and now, I've been forbidden from using them to get revenge! But, with the Fog...everyone knows what most of her priests are like, present company excepted. Their cloaks give them away...and everyone knows killing them isn't a solution. So, if I can make killing me both difficult and meaningless, and signal what I'm capable of to other monsters... [Then maybe he'll finally be able to protect the people who matter to him.]

[He doesn't know what to say to this. He can follow Atem's logic of course. Oh, he can absolutely follow it.

But he's tired.

He's so....so tired.]

Then I stand by my words.

On your own head be it. What it takes to get there...

...When you've passed the second tier, I don't want to hear anything about what you do to move forward.

[........................a delay.]

I'm sorry Atem.

But I've watched too many friends take a wrong turn once on this road. I'd rather not watch again.

Perhaps you'll prove me wrong. I'd like to hope so.

[....He can't quite see it right now though.]

What do you consider a wrong turn, Noa?

You'll recall I was friends with Amanda. Good friends, for that matter. To me, she remained on her path. Amanda was Amanda, from start, to finish.

Think about who you are, Atem. And if what you plan moving forward turns against that, that will be when you've taken a wrong turn.

[Amanda never tore herself apart at the seams of the soul over what she did. She had conviction. She felt, heavily, for what she was doing.

Touya languished and suffered until the minute he was gone. Judai clawed desperately at what seemed to be right, only to crumble when his efforts to avoid suffering did so anyway.

There's no clear answer here, save one.

Don't lose yourself.]

That's good advice.

[He's made compromises already, pushed the edges of what he's willing to do further than he wants to. Atem doesn't intend to make the same mistake again. He'll do what he can live with, even if it's not popular...he'll find a way.

And he knows that no matter what he does, some people will suffer. That's what Ryslig is for, that's what it does. The people who bombed the Cube...they'd tried to avoid suffering, and it had still gotten them eaten alive, socially. There's no way to win beautifully.]

I'll respect your wishes, though. We don't have to talk about it further, if you don't want to.

Thank you.

...After the fact, perhaps. When I've seen what the end of that road for you looks like.

In the meantime...are you ok? God matters might be complicated and painful, but we're still friends, you know!

[...........What-

...oh.

OH. Oh.] ah

...I've not been avoiding you, believe it or not. I simply

[............]

I just

[Hah.]

....I'm down a roommate again, it seems.

What?! Marik's gone? I guess he WAS quiet for longer than I'd expect... Do you want to come over? Or, I can...

That's your choice.

[................that's cat speak for Get Over Here, Now.]

[He's not saying no...]

Shall I bring anything?

[He can pick up something on the way...anything, probably, he has so much money...]

I can't think of anything, but if you do, that's fine.

[It's Emergency Cat Status!]

[He's going to fly up to Noa's place with a bag that holds a plate of seared tuna in his little bat claws. Please let him in, it is a cat emergency.]

[Don't worry Atem! That door is open plenty enough for him to fly on in- it has to be if he's going to let the dogs out as they need. Newf is the one who notices first of course, lifting up her great massive head to give a confused 'hrrr?'

Noa is. Well, he's currently curled in what can best be described as a sulk. Go figure. He'll probably perk up once he actually sees Atem to be fair.]

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