noasark | Ryslig IC INBOX

[ -- His eyes pop wide when...

-- He opens that file. Brow tensing, eyes skimming over the whole damn thing...

Every muscle in his face twitching and flickering. A mounting parsing, what...!

...Ending up with... a certain yellow rush through his system and a white throb in kinda... echo of a heartbeat. His fangs just resting on his upper lip. Shoulders tense - leans in, hands lifting off the keyboard, brow tensing, eyes widening widening widening wiiiiiidening...!

...Glancing repeatedly over the keyboard like he doesn't fucking know what it is all of a sudden before...

...deflating. Eyes... half-lidding. Turning 'em back on the screen in a manner of "...okay, okay, you know what? I'll humor you".

...Even though he's the one being humored, here. Sorry, Noa, but he's a prideful dude - it's... gonna take a while for him to not have sour feelings about even this.]

Tonight.

['Tonight', he says, like that won't be a feat in itself. But Noa finds himself staring at that response and half crying, half laughing.

Because isn't that just the best way to spitefully get back a little more.]

Understood.

[It'll be hard, and he'll probably run himself ragged, but Tonight, it is. Hopefully time heals those salty wounds, after that.

But it will go well, at least.

For Lucas, anyway.]

[...Re: any kind of "healing"?

There's a very real chance it may never happen.

There are only so many ways to get over a thing like "...I thought that my boss trusted me about my worst enemy - and then they just... implicitly called me a liar and sold out to that enemy, without breathing a word of it to me beforehand".

A person's first real betrayal is a thing that easily just leaves big, bloody scars.

That said...]

Better be.
Don't wanna have to wait another day to not fucking have to pretend I work for you shitheads anymore.

[Actions speak better than words. He'll let it show by focusing on having everything ready. He still feels he warned as fast as he could. Feels the lie wasn't as implicit as Lucas thought because after all even AM felt Noa's announcement less honest and more hollow while the demon searched for a hair of proof that yes, Noa was holding documents from him.

He still is. (Both, on each end of the document matter.)

It doesn't matter. He has it ready, and even with plausible monster staff in the security force that's the case.

Perhaps it would be better for him to leave it at that and hope his cowardice didn't cost him literally everything.]

[...Heads-up, this is all out of pride.

But he sweeps in, so-damn-falsely "perks up" - no smile or anything - just a lifted brow and wide eyes - as he tack-tack-tacks out...]

Did I ever tell you what I did the last time my coworkers tried to fuck me over, Noa??

[He pauses - weaves into the screen with a dead-and-wide-eyed smile and no absence of tooth]

I locked them up in a cage with a bunch of test subjects because they couldn't handle me being in charge.
When I told management that they got into a tragic accident they didn't think it was me but still saw it when I cracked up!
So count yourself lucky

You still think this was something done to intentionally spite you, then. Or harm.

Both, perhaps.

I've told you my piece. I've told you it was neither. The intent was to draw him off you, and get him off your back before he did try something. And that much worked, at least.

Just what do I need to do, to prove that?

If doing to me as AM would anyway once given the chance is the answer then perhaps you should do it anyway.

It isn't as though I expected anything better when I was cornered there to begin with. It certainly feels like what I deserve now.

I meant what I said. I wish you the best. You're better off away from this building's limits as it is.

[Really, it's... nothing to do with "you tried to spite me" or "you tried to hurt me behind my back". It's "you broke my trust by not giving me what I needed - this must be because you never actually respected me".

But... Lucas is crap at emotional intelligence. He can't help but... reflexively twist things that offend him into assuming the worst.

So... yeah - he does think he thinks "you tried to spite me, and harm me".]

Yeah THANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH.
I'm not scared of him, what happens when we die here??
We just come right back, right???
So WHAT WAS HE SUPPOSED TO DO IF HE KILLED ME AND I TOLD EVERYBODY HE DID IT, JUST KEEP ON DOING IT???
UNTIL HE MADE HIMSELF SO FUCKING OBVIOUS THAT IT WASN'T GONNA DO ANYTHING BUT MAKE HIM LOOK EVEN FUCKING WORSE??????
Not gonna kill you, Noa. I'm with the fucking Haze now.
Yeah though, you're damn right I am.

[Just a pair of emotionally compromised and stunted morons yep.]

I didn't want to know what he would do when cornered. I still don't, honestly.

I

I know it isn't any excuse.

But it was all I could think. If that program was AM in a good mood, what would a desperate, cornered AM do? One with a spotlight on him? Not only to me. But to others.

The people around me. The people I knew, I...

He thought the Haze was made to target him.

I didn't want him to make them a target because of that.

It isn't about death. It's hard enough to kill me as it is.

There are greater things to fear than death. You said it yourself. What you've done to people who betrayed you. That's more than death, isn't it?

It's about the trip there, and making it a long one.

...

I should have had more faith that everyone could avoid that if they wanted. Myself included.

[But one could say, after all...he's nothing but a 'scardey cat.']

FUCK HIM
FUCK HIM FUCK HIM FUCK HIM FUCK HIM FUCK HIM
FUCK
HIM.
I GUARANTEE YOU THE FUCKING BOSS DOESN'T EVEN fucking KNOW HIM.
Neither does my FUCKING GIRL!!!!!!!!!!
And SHE'S IN THERE TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND YOU DON'T FUCKING KNOW ANY OF THEM EITHER, so to keep MY FUCKING FAMILY SAFE "FOR" ME, YOU HAD TO CALL ME A LIAR, IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING??????????

You know that isn't how I thought it.

I viewed it as claiming myself the liar if anything.

You also know that doesn't change the result. Ot what happened. Certainly not how it looked in the long run as far as you're concerned.

...At the very least it wasn't anything less than not wanting that risk. I might not know them.

But I knew you.

And you are

...

Yes, still are, in a group of those I can never wish harm upon.

[Part of his thought: "NO, I DON'T KNOW."

"CLAIMING YOURSELF AS THE 'LIAR' EVEN THOUGH FUCK YOU, SO YOU THINK WE WERE BOTH LYING NOW???"

And... with regards to that last bit, it's going to... take a long time before he can ever get over the... "I feel so hurt" interpretation of "OH, DON'T GIVE ME THAT, YOU STUPID MANIPULATIVE LYING ASSHOLE...!"]

You're so full of shit.
You never gave a FUCK about me.
I can protect myself and the WHOLE FUCKING HAZE CAN PROTECT ITSELF, WE'VE SEEN SOME FUCKING SHIT!!!
And we're gonna make that clear after I clean up tonight. :)
I don't need your FUCKING FAKE-ASS "HELP" NOT GETTING ME OR ANYBODY ELSE HURT
YOU STUPID FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!!!

Edited 2018-12-24 07:03 (UTC)

I believe that was half the point of my saying 'I should have had faith in that' rather than being a DAMNED COWARD, LUCAS!

[Noa doesn't swear. Ever. He never swears.

So this is certainly a change.]

But if destroying everything around me is what you need to sever things so be it.

I can't force you to believe me.

Nor will I keep insulting you by trying.

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