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Ryslig IC INBOX
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no subject
It's difficult to talk about some things regarding my relationship with the Ring. Indifference is very difficult when someone's been in your head for years, and when they committed a murder in your body while you were...
I think I was...twelve.
I struggle with that memory. It was never something I wanted to remember, so I told a different story for a long time, but I think it was more than that. I think I simply pushed it away until it wasn't real anymore. I think that anyone would want to forget killing someone, right?
That's not the point though, the point I wanted to make is that the spirit has a habit of rationalizing his behaviors, and becoming frustrated when you don't understand them. Or...he's told me things with, shall we say, explicit motivations.
[So basically what he was beating around the bush to say was that the Ring-Spirit was an adept manipulator, of him especially, and that he was afraid to continue extending an olive branch to someone like that. But at the same time...Ryou wouldn't feel right staying away entirely. Because he'd spent so many years with that presence in his head, to the point that he, like Yugi, felt attached.
It's hard. This is hard. He's mad and will stay mad and probably if they talk again, Ryou will still always be a sarcastic jerk to the Ring-Spirit. But not talking has had an effect. Noa wants him to have closure? But he can't.]
no subject
There's baggage and you're traumatized. And I'm not surprised that's the case- if you've ever argued with the Fog, you'll find the mental path is the same. It doesn't justify it, but at the very least there's a beacon of hope that now that he's sorely human he'll figure out that he needs to stop rationalizing certain behaviors.
More to the point of what's important though- of course they would. Especially at that age.
...
Ugh, I wish we had a proper therapist here.
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Actually I've never spoken to anyone about this really, and I wouldn't have known about it if not for Aigami showing it to me. I pushed it away pretty completely, but...
Demons have a way of crawling out of the closet, I suppose.
[He's...not sure how to respond to the assertion that he's traumatized. It doesn't feel as if that term is for him. As many times as he'd reclaimed the Ring, for whatever foolish reason...did he deserve to feel as if he was "traumatized" at all?]
But traumatized is a bit too strong a term for it, don't you think?
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[.......................
ryou,]
I'll pose a short question to answer yours. If anyone else described to you, the things the spirit did to you, in full, and explained they had troubles with their emotions and so on, so forth, regarding the topic of said spirit, would you say they weren't?
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I guess that's true.
[Noa stop being right.]
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In any case, eventually this will...hopefully be something you can resolve. At the very least I'll do what I can on my end I suppose.
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I appreciate all of this, Noa. Thank you for listening to me, you didn't need to do that. But I think I've taken up more than enough of your time. Perhaps we can shelve this discussion for a while.
[He's feeling a little drained over the whole conversation, because talking this much about himself and his problems felt extremely unfair. And honestly, it was very unfair to Noa.
But he wouldn't lie to himself that it felt better airing it out.
Actually...he should make sure Noa knows that Ryou's not attempting to run away from this, huh?]
Not that I find your help unwelcome, but I've spoken of a great many things in this one chat that I don't usually discuss in any kind of detail, and I think I need to decompress after this.
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Still, if you want to talk more later, the laptop is generally going to let me know when I have messages.
For that matter my house is available, though that could be tricky to get to.